Nash, my son, almost 21 months, is clearly almost two. I try not to buy into things like “terrible twos” (mostly because I really think it’s 3 that sucks) and “PMS” and girls are this way and boys are that way and women wash the dishes while men take out the trash- but I think there’s a little truth in all of it, I just prefer to continue thinking for myself and not immediately buy myself a front row ticket to a show that’s taking place “in the box”.

My son is changing, being more defiant, more particular about doing what he want to do. He screams “NO!” in my face. At school, they have said he doesn’t want to participate in circle time or play. So, I’m not the only one who notices the shift.

Randy told me this morning about what his teacher said. He doesn’t want to sit in the circle, all the other kids are in the circle but he lays on the floor outside the circle. That cracks me up! No DNA test required, he IS his daddy’s son.

I told Randy that I think he is bored. His teacher also thinks he is bored.
Luckily he is moving up to the next class next month.

At home, I am having to dust off my old parenting tricks until I find something that works. I have to agree, after having both a girl and now a boy- they are different. Now I also understand men more too. They are different. I guess we’re supposed to be expanding our consciousness (sweet, I spelled that correctly the first time) by being paired up with this other species. Surely that’s the purpose, outside of procreation. Probably why I dated women. Honestly after doing that, I personally think men are easier.

Back to my tricks. Manipulating, I mean handling, a boy is interesting. In some ways easier and some ways more challenging. It can be challenging for me to remember that my son is probably not making it as emotional and dramatic as I am. I’m having to enhance my skills at being more linear and straight forward. He is all about cause and effect. When he plays, his favorite activities involve cause and effect. When I am communicating with him, I have to remember to be direct and display some sense of cause and effect. Not punishment and control but cause and effect. He gets it then- as much as he can right now, anyway.

The other thing that seems so critical with him is directing him. Instead of saying, “don’t write on the walls with a sharpie, PLEASE!”, if I say, “write on paper” or “give me the marker”, he knows what to do. Boys are sensitive to not doing it right, not doing a good job- they learn that their value is in what they DO. There seems to be a big connection in communicating this way with them. I try not to shame him for what he is doing, rather, ask him to do something different. It actually works. Of course, he is going to do what he wants to do but it seems to help manage the power struggles. And sometimes I just yell back at him and then we both feel like shit.