I want my kids to like me when they grow up. That’s why I hypnotize them on a regular basis.

But really, I want them to want to talk to me, not feel obligated or guilty. It’s so hard to imagine that I wouldn’t have a good relationship with them when they are grown.

I suppose that means having a good relationship with them now and it continues to be a good relationship, minus the temporary jerky teenage years.

My parents didn’t seem to try to have a relationship with me. Maybe my mom did at times. That would have been something like- who are YOU, what do you think, what do you like, and why? That’s so validating as a human being. And I think it’s one reason relationships are so exciting in the beginning as we are getting to know one another, there’s another person so interested in who we are.

I had two teenagers for parents who were, in my accurate opinion, too distracted with growing up to build a real relationship with their kids.

It can be tough sometimes to balance the job of parenting with the reality that you are shaping and molding another person as they become who they are- and that MORE THAN ANYTHING we need good relationships with other people.

As I’m writing this, my daughter is in her room playing by herself- I am off to learn something new about her.

time
time
time
tick tock
tick tock

Findings: I went in there and she was playing “town” in her baby brother’s room. This is regarded as a special time because baby brother, when home, destroys town before it’s ever constructed and it’s actually a whole different game called “hurricane season came to town”.

Since baby bro wasn’t here, she was experiencing something magical- the satisfaction of completion!

So I join her and she is very happy (one more magical moment, mom all to myself.)

The first thing I learned about her is that she is just like me (once again)- she said, “I really just like to set it up, I guess we could play town too”, but basically we spent the whole time rearranging town, resetting it up. I so vividly remember thinking that same way and still do. I LOVE to move. I get to set things up again. I LOVE organizing and giving everything a place, and she is like that too.

At one point, I noticed a couple hanging out in the horse trailer (see photo above) and asked what was going on over there and she said, “oh, they are talking about whether or not they want to get married.”

THAT’S my fucking girl.

Turns out, they did decide to marry and a wedding ensued. The wedding was all about organizing lines of people, directing them here and there and eventually a ceremony (but not the most important part).