On Fourth of July, the day I like to think of as Lee Greenwood Day- I mean I just can’t help it, I know it’s supposed to be more meaningful than that but I thought about Lee Greenwood more yesterday than I did my husband- and he was in my sight all day. That’s how powerful patriotic, vintage country is- it sticks to your bones like biscuits. (was I supposed to capitalize “patriotic”)

Evan rides with her Grammy to get fireworks and apparently Grammy strikes up (cute) a conversation about how some fireworks are legal and some are illegal right now due to the lack of rain. You just can’t say stuff like that to Evan. She latches on to cop talk like a newborn to a nipple. The rest of the night all I hear is, “what if we get in trouble, are these fireworks legal?, is that helicopter watching us?”- even though we had sparklers and ladybugs.

We set off the first ladybug. I have to admit that ladybug must have just finished a protein shake- the expected 3 foot hover turned out to be a 30 foot blast off with hissing and squealing.

Nash cried, Evan leaped, I ran, Randy laughed.

Both kids are upset- the 2 year old for obvious 2 year old reasons, the 8 year old because this was obviously very illegal. They want to go inside and shiver so I supported them without any name calling or finger pointing, like a good mama would. (so much for “Independence” Day)

Later I go back out to check on things and be part of the adult club to find out that Randy, the jokester that he is, was trying to scare his mom and was perched behind her as she lit a ladybug. She starts truckin backwards so he is forced to follow suit. She backs him right into a big cactus and he falls in. haHaHAAhaHa.

I mean, are you okay honey? I sure would hate a prankster like yourself, always playing jokes on people, laughing at us- I sure would hate to see you fall into a CACTUS!!! HaHAhaha. Did I mention how big the cactus are in the hill country of San Antonio?

The kids get re-freaked out, same scenario as earlier so we go back inside.

Evan is paranoid and gasping for words to express her concern and says, “I’m not doing anymore fireworks, it’s illegal and I don’t want to go to Jubi!”