You know how sometimes in order to step into greatness you have to let something go?  I mean, that sounds familiar, you’ve heard that before, right?  That’s one of those phrases that sounds so much better as a jingle for your life, not mine.  The reality of taking the hand of that phrase and sitting with it on a park bench, or a curb, and listening to it as it listens to you, is a moment you have to choose- because if you don’t choose it, or you can’t choose it, it disappears until you find it again.

I don’t want to choose.  I don’t want to feel this grief.  I don’t want to be that brave.

People who do brave things make brave choices every day.  And sometimes they have to let go of things they wish they didn’t have to let go of but if they don’t, they are letting go of themselves.

I’ve been called selfish many times.  I use to defend myself and shout “lies!”.  But it’s true, I’m selfish.  You have to be selfish to go for greatness, you have to put yourself first.  Now that I understand what this means and what this doesn’t mean, I’m comfortable with this word being thrown across the room at me.  Now I hold up my little velcro  glove and catch it.  Because this definitely does not mean that I don’t love or I’m not vulnerable.  It also doesn’t mean I’m not nurturing and generous with affection.  I am willing to give my whole heart to you.  Just not my life.